I feel like Gustav Flaubert except I did not take 6 years to write this post

I have been debating on whether I should begin blogging once again. I have so much going on: school, work, gym and, occasionally, sleep. I kind of abruptly stopped my blogs from Colombia. My leaving was very abrupt. I think it was needed and appropriate, but now I have an aching in my soul for the country I fell so deeply in love with. The only way I know how to deal with this issue is to write for the sake of writing. It makes me feel good. I like to contribute something even if no one reads it. I am now going to use my blog for more than just a discussion about Colombia, but since I am starting anew, I feel the need to return to where things began and ended.

Oh yeah, and that dude above is Gustav Flaubert. I've been feeling a connection with him lately.

I mentioned earlier my longing for Colombia, but I do not feel as if I am giving an adequate description of what my true emotions are. I will make an attempt to explain this, though I do not think I will do a very good job.

I think that everyone has been through at least one really horrible break up in their lives. People call it a broken heart. But honestly, when I went through my first real "break-up" the pain was not inside of my heart. I could literally feel the pain behind my heart and between my ribs. Oh, how it lingered for months on end. I thought it would never go away. The yearning I had for this person seemed to have no end (It should be noted that I do not feel like this any longer). I personally do not feel like I am crazy (though some may argue this point), but I was very young and very much in love.

This is the only thing I know how to equate my longing for Colombia. I do not want to call it a bad break-up, but the torment feels just the same. It does not feel endless. It comes in spurts. Sometimes I wake up missing Colombia and I haven't the slightest clue why. Maybe it was a dream or something from my subconscious peeking out. Sometimes I will see a breathtaking landscape and that place behind my heart will begin to throb.

I know that the pangs occur mostly when I help customers who cannot speak English. I know how they feel. I can relate to that insecurity, to that fear, to that emptiness that is caused by the feelings of no one understanding a word you have to say. I have been in that persons place before. It is terrifying, exciting, and in an odd way determined. (I felt determined because I was going through all of these emotions and controlling them and acting like an adult all at the same time. I was doing something all on my own.)

Back to my customers; I love to see the look in their eye when I speak Spanish with them. They seem so shocked. I know that feeling! That connection with someone you have never even met! It meant the world to me when someone would attempt to speak English. I knew that person was trying hard to make me feel like a part of them, to make me feel like I belong.

I hope that I make them feel that way too. So many people barely say a word to them because they fear the language barrier. I revel in it. It reminds me of Colombia. It reminds me of a place where I felt I didn't belong, but realized, in the end, it was exactly where I was supposed to be.

My customers make me miss Colombia so often that I often feel like selling everything I own, packing up my cats (because I'm not leaving them behind), and moving back. This is when the ache lasts and hurts the most. I hope that my customers know how grateful I am for their willingness to interact with me. I think I am more grateful than they will ever truly realize.

I want to go back. The time honored excuse of having no money or time is the problem. I also refuse to leave my cats again. Where I go they go! I'm not so sure how they will feel about our move, but I can't leave without them J

I keep hoping that I won't feel the longing, and that each time will be the last. Deep inside I know that it won't be. I know I have not completely explained this emotion to you, but I think I've done the best that I can. I'm beginning to believe that the reason my ache keeps returning is because it's part of my soul that, mistakenly, I left behind. My ache is my body's way of saying that it needs it back. I pray that God will find a way for me to return so that I can at least retrieve that part of my soul, or maybe He wants me to leave a little more of it behind. I would not be surprised if that were the case because his sense of humor amazes me.

Colombian Iguanas

I have a confession to make. Actually, if we’re friends you probably already know about how I'm not the biggest fan of lizards... Lizards of any size, shape or color. Yes, the tiniest little lizard will send me squealing like a little girl. I think my fear stems from a horrible experience involving lizards in my bedroom when I was a teenager, but that’s another story for another time.

Now, you might be wondering what lizards have anything to do with my post, and truthfully I don’t know why I started with the lizards. I spent a lot of time staring at the iguanas on the roof of my family’s restaurant in Cali this past weekend because I was sick and was laying in the bed trying to recooperate before my long bus trip back to Sogamoso. If I would have known about their daily visits, I probably would have asked to be put in a different room.... Ok, that would have just been rude of me, and sweet little Southern girls who are scared of lizards are not rude.

These are some of the ‘firsts’ this Southern girl experienced over the weekend:

• I traveled by myself in a bus for 4 hours in a foreign country
• I also managed to get to get to where I was going and back without a single problem (I hope you noticed that I didn’t mention doing this for the first time in a foreign country. I haven’t done this in the US either. No one really trusts me when it comes to traveling because I have a horrible sense of direction.)
• I got sick and went to a doctor in a foreign country
• I was unable to find the medicine the doctor prescribed for me to take so I could get over my cold faster
• I visited my family’s home in Colombia for the first time
• I took a shower in a semi-outside bathroom (it was very well shielded)
• I shopped in a ridiculously nice mall and only bought coffee for my boyfriend (If you know me this is a very notable experience)
• I saw stars strategically placed to mark where people who were hit by cars had died (These are all over the streets in Cali. There are over 5 million people who live there, so the availability of sidewalk space tends to run over into the roads…)
• I watched 2 iguanas crawl down from the trees onto the roof of my family’s house, and I watched a whole herd (not sure what you call a group of about 5 of them together) fight over the platanos my cousin tossed to them on the other side of the river

I've linked the title to a YouTube video I created by compiling some of the pictures I took in Cali. Maybe they'll help you understand why I'm not such a big fan of lizards... Maybe not. Either way, I’m pretty sure that I won’t be climbing any trees in Colombia because now I know that’s where they live…. Just in case you were wondering.

By the way, I do have other YouTube videos posted. I'm planning on posting more, but the connection here tempermental. I've got to figure out how to create my own channel. Does anyone know how to do this?

God Bless!
Amanda

Fruta Frezca

So, I’ve been in Sogamoso for almost a month now and I’m settling in pretty well even though things are very different here. For instance, they have a siesta from 12:00-2:00 pm. I have become a complete fan of this idea and will be vehemently lobbying for this to become a law when I get back to SC. Here, the day begins at 7am and I’m completely worn out by 12. This is all perfectly grand and dandy because I get to take a nap during the middle of the day! The most wonderful thing about this is that there is no one here to judge me for taking a nap!! They are all asleep too! The concept of the siesta is absolutely wonderful no matter what my mom says!

But, if I decide not to nap during the siesta I could walk down to one of the many locally owned restaurants in the center of the town and have lunch. In the US, lunch is pretty light; maybe a sandwich and a bag of chips with a soda. Not here. I’ve become a fan of the churrasco. Churrasco is a roasted meat that is typically served with a chimichurri sauce. I couldn’t begin to tell you what chimichurri is made out of, but it’s so good it makes me want to slap my mama (not really mom, I love you very much). Another reason I like the churrasco so much is because I know what it is. I was fortunate enough to find out what mute (pronounced moo-tay) was before I ate it, and let’s just say I’m not a very big fan of tripe.

So, the churrasco is this big slab of meat, kind of like a steak but soooo much more delicious, and it’s served with a pretty large portion or rice, some French fries, a decent sized salad and something sweet like jello or a cookie for desert. All of that is just for lunch. Dinner is smaller here because lunch is so big, but that’s a good thing because after such a big lunch you aren’t really too hungry for dinner.

One other thing I’ve come to appreciate here is the abundance of fresh fruit and vegetables. The best way I can describe it is… You know how in SC around June or July we have a plethora of fresh veggies? Well, it’s like that every day here, except there is no sweltering heat or suffocating humidity. I never knew that so many fruits that I’ve never heard even existed (yes, my mind can be pretty small at times). There’s this fruit called Lulu that kind of looks like a tomato. It’s only used for its juice, but it’s really sweet and tangy. It takes some getting used to, but now I know I’ll miss it when I return to the US because we don’t have Lulu there.

The availability of fresh fruit makes it irresistibly convenient to get whatever you want and wherever you want at a decent price. I bought a pound of grapes (which is uvas in Spanish for the inquiring minds) for about one thousand pesos. One thousand pesos sounds like a lot but it’s only about 0.50. That’s not the sale price either. I’ve attached a link to a YouTube video of a typical Colombian market (just click on the title Fruta Frezca). I’ve to been a few smaller markets, but they pretty much look the same. I hope you are amazed with all the different fruits and vegetables you will see like I was. God couldn’t have picked a better place to send me because I love fruit! I’m so blessed that I was chosen to be here!